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"My student seems really anxious. How do I know what’s normal?”  

 Dear Parents:

Welcome to the club. The club of confused parents, that is. Attentive parents have been reading stories in the media about high rates of anxiety among young adults. But they also remember lots of times when they were anxious, and got through it. Which is it? Is there an anxiety epidemic, or is anxiety normal? 

Both. Most anxiety is normal. It’s a common emotion that signals a need to do something. Anxiety provides a little nudge to start that term paper, get to class on time, pay bills before the deadline, and return mom’s call. (Ahem!) It’s quite common in new situations, such as starting college or a new job. Self-care can really help, and you can confidently remind them that this will pass. 

But anxiety can also take on a life of its own and become a disorder. Instead of helping a student get started on that term paper, it makes them avoid it. Or they start, but their thoughts are so jumbled that they can’t concentrate. Or their mind goes blank. Sometimes anxiety causes physical symptoms such as palpitations, stomach problems, headaches, or worse. All of these are unpleasant and counterproductive. 

How can you tell if your student's anxiety is normal or problematic? Here’s a quick test: Is their anxiety making them function better, or worse? Is it making them get to class on time, or skip it? Are they planning for the future, or just getting overwhelmed? Is anxiety motivating action, or just causing distress? 

If it’s the latter, their anxiety is probably telling them to call SHS. 

Mathilde Ross, MD is a Senior Staff Psychiatrist at Boston University Student Health Services. She is the author of the upcoming book, How to Thrive at College: A Guide to the Ups and Downs of Mental Health on Campus. 

https://mathilderossauthor.com/ 

The Parents & Family Advice Column is for general informational purposes, and is not a substitute for professional consultation.